Ways to Enjoy Being Alone on Thanksgiving
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So, you are going to be alone and perhaps even in a strange city, on Thanksgiving,and the very idea is getting you down. Cheer up and welcome to the club. Lots of us Americans don't gather around a groaning board on the last Thursday in November surrounded by family and friends. Some people are alone by choice and some by circumstance and whatever your situation, you can choose to get maudlin about the whole thing or have an enjoyable or maybe even a super fabulous day.
Lots of people have to work on Thanksgiving. If that is your situation, know that your co workers will be working too and make a point of enjoying the day with them. I have a friend who is divorced with grown children and who is a nurse at a local hospital-- she always signs up to work on Thanksgiving and always has a wonderful time sharing the day with patients and their families. She also gets paid overtime which goes a long way towards making her thankful too.
Students and ex-pats, the recently divorced, the widowed, all huddle together at holiday time,like cows under a tree before a rainstorm. Many of these will be spending Thanksgiving alone and if you will be in their ranks, the trick is to not feel sorry for yourself but to let go and enjoy the day.
Personally, I enjoy my own company and really enjoy my solitude. I am often with family and friends on Thanksgiving, but have chosen to spend a few Thanksgivings by myself and have had some wonderful, serendipitous Thanksgivings alone or with a band of other solo celebrants. Sometimes complete strangers can be better Thanksgiving dinner companions than far flung family.
I've been on my own for the past decade and before that was married for 33 years, raising two children, working, playing and generally juggling life. My husband and I were both only children of divorced parents, so the Holiday Season always presented familial challenges, but we were inventive and it was always fun.
I have cooked many a turkey and presided over many a table which is perhaps why I am so serene about being on my own for Thanksgiving. But even for me, it does take a bit of planning. Here are my tips gleaned over the years from here and there.
Tips for Celebrating Thanksgiving Alone
- Plan Ahead If you know you are going to be alone and not working, try to find a kindred soul or souls ahead of time and make plans to get together for a Thanksgiving meal. It can be a pot luck at somebody's house or a seasonal feast at a fancy restaurant. One year I went to a local diner with a group of women who were alone for one reason or another. It was great. It's a way of observing the holiday without pain. If you are working on Turkey Day, plan some sort of celebration with co-workers. It's best not to spend the day at home alone watching sentimental holiday movies or The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV all by yourself. Make a plan and do something to give the day a little structure.
- Make the Day YOURS If you are going to be alone, do what you feel like doing and not what you think you should do. That is, don't go to somebody's house for Thanksgiving just because you think you should. Sometimes, being grafted on to somebody else's family celebration can make you feel more alone than being alone. Do what you want to to. Feel like going to the gym? if it's open, do it. Feel like taking a hike or catching a film or concert? Do it and don't feel you have to eat turkey either. If your idea of a great meal is pizza-- get a pizza. In fact, it might be a good idea to NOT go anywhere near traditional Thanksgiving fare if you are on your own for the day.
- Do Unto Others. I know it is going to sound like a cliche, but if your church or temple has a soup kitchen or if there is a local food pantry or charity Thanksgiving dinner-- you might want to plan to work for them on Thanksgiving. There is nothing to make you grateful for what you have like helping those who have less-- they do call it Thanksgiving for a reason, you know.
- Stay In Touch with Skype Through the wonders of the internet and video calling and chat, you can now stay in touch with your family on Thanksgiving without actually being with them. Sometimes, I think this is the best of all worlds, but then my family history is full of contentious Thanksgiving dinners. Nevermind-- that's another hub. I also love getting videos from everybody to replay later over the long week-end
Thanksgiving Dinner for One
One way to take the lonely out of alone on Thanksgiving is to go all the way and cook yourself a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. Whether you polish up the family silver and get out the best china or buy a package of holiday paper plates, set a festive table and make it special.
Frozen Turkey Dinners can seem pretty pathetic but for the truly hopeless cook, they can be a Thanksgiving solution if and ONLY if you nuke the dinner and then put it on your best china plate, use real sliver and cloth napkin and sit yourself down at a real table to eat it like a real meal. Ditto if you go out to your local deli or fast food place and get take out turkey with all the trimmings.
Presentation, as the French are fond of saying, is everything, when it comes to food. No scarfing your Thanksgiving dinner down in front of the TV. Sit down at a real table in a real chair and eat like a real human being off real plates with real cutlery and chew with your mouth closed, ok? Oh, you can listen to music if you want-- but NO TV.
For those with greater culinary skills, here are some links to Thanksgiving menus for one and hints on how to enjoy.
Links to Recipes for Solo Cooks on Thanksgiving
Traditional Thanksgiving Roast Turkey Dinner for One Excellent step by step instructions with illustrations on cooking legs and breasts with stuffing for one.
Reviews of Frozen Turkey Dinners on Wandering Chopsticks Absolutely fabulous rundowns and recommendations for Thanksgiving for one featuring frozen turkey dinners.
Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner Recipes for One Person.Look no further than Hubpages and Hubber Gordon Hamilton for fabulous inventive Thanksgiving recipes for one.
Turkey in The Straw
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You know, this is really great! I especially love the idea of helping at a soup kitchen, which sounds a lot more fulfilling than sitting around a huge table arguing politics with the family.... ;-) Happy Thanksgiving to you!
Great advice for spending Thanksgiving on your own here! I have to say, there are many years where I wouldn't mind a little solitude during the holidays. A good meal, a good book or maybe a movie marathon would be perfect for me! :)
Hi robie: This is an important hub as it helps people who are alone and/or lonely (there is a distinction). I have been alone for some years,too, and it can be overwhelming at times; at others, rewarding. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK and there's truly little to be thankful for at present. But I remember those loaded tables in 1970's USA and there's nothing like it anywhere! Bobx
Our family's in a time of transition...TG has always been a time of getting together, but also a time of stresses that countermand the Norman Rockwell idealistic view. Issues, you know.
This year, we don't know where TG will be. There are about 35 of us who, in the past, have gathered at my mother's house or my cousin's house. But there have been losses this year and declines in health.
Truly, I'd like to celebrate this day on my own, maybe drawing a turkey or Pilgrims with their hats and buckles on manila paper with crayons. I need some time to digest these changes.
Thanks for generating a rich conversation about a thing we take for granted when we are are care-free.
What a great Hub on a topic that gives effective answers to what probably a lot of people are asking. There are, in fact, many ways you can celebrate without a large family gathering, and make it feel special, as your instructions make clear. :)
Robie, I'm with you on enjoying my own company and solitude. I guess as writers and thinkers we are pretty used to it and it feels like "home" This year, though, I decided to accept an invitation from a close friend who is a marvelous cook, so I'm really looking forward to it. Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Great tips robie, loved them. I like this one the best "There is nothing to make you grateful for what you have like helping those who have less." It's very honorable and truly a joy of heart ALL THE TIME! Now I know how to be more "smiley" on occasions despite being alone. Awesome hub.. Just voted up!
Very good tips and important advice that can be also applied for Christmas celebrations. Staying in touch through phone calls and skype is an excellent way to avoid feeling lonely, we use it a lot specially during celebrations to share with family abroad.
Thumbs up!
This year will be hard for me. My fiance died last week, and my son will probably go to his dad's. I'm debating on going to my sister's or staying home. Thanks for the helpful advice.
12/6/2011
Dear robie2, hello. And first of all, I sincerely apologize to you for NOT getting around to your place to read great hubs like this one that really spoke to me. Please forgive me for this slackness. I was busy trying to get as many hubs run before my health gets any worse. And yes, I voted up and away on this hub for YOU are a very-talented person. I mean that sincerely. Please forgive me for this being late. I am sorry. Loved this hub. Merry Christmas, Kenneth
Dear robie, thank you! This is so sweet and understanding of you. I plan on more visits to your place and get into your hubs. And my kind words are nothing compared to your beautiful writing. And have the Christmas you have always dreamed of. I will see you soon.////Kenneth
Well, very familiar with all of this, especially the "working at the local hospital" part!
Hello, Dear Robie...are you okay on this the third day of 2012? I wanted you to know that I enjoy your work. Value your friendship and following and pray that 2012 is the BEST year of your life! I mean it.
Your Friend for Life,
Kenneth
Dear robie...you are welcome. Every word I type to you IS from the heart. I am NOT a faker. I dont like fakes. Nor will I fake myself to anyone. Im glad that you are "up" for the new year. That is great news. And I appreciate the sweet wish for my new year too.
I enjoy our visits. And talks. I will do this more often, if thats okay.
Kenneth



















JamaGenee Level 8 Commenter 7 months ago
After my kids left home, I always volunteered to work on TG so those with families could have the day off. The company would provide turkey with all the trimmings, sometimes with tablecloths and cloth napkins! - so in those years I was NEVER alone on TG.
But the years I wasn't working and the kids were with the Other Side relatives, I *preferred* to spend the day alone rather than being the Fifth Wheel at a friend's family gathering. I'd rent a favorite movie to watch after the meal du jour, which I ate on the good china, with the good silverware! ;D