My Number One Unique Life Lesson? Don't Worry
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Don't Worry--Be Happy
It's easier said than done, of course, but looking back I have found that the things I worry about are almost never the things that happen. The real "bone crunchers " of life have always seemed to come out of left field. I've had my share like everyone else--but they have always been things that never crossed my mind to worry about,and they have always simply blindsided me.
Don't Look Back
I try not to look back with regret at any part of my past( should I have taken this or that job, could I have saved my marriage, Should I have married somebody else, had more/fewer children etc.) and I try not to worry about the future. I don't have a crystal ball. I just do the best I can, and I don't look back. My aim is to stay firmly grounded in the present moment. When I can do that. which is far from 100% of the time, I have an almost indescribable sense of peace and happiness. I can intensely focus on and enjoy life's immediate gifts: a good cup of coffee, a laugh with friends ,or just the satisfaction of checking a task off my to do list. Staying in the moment makes each moment matter more. When the crunches hit I get through them by staying in the moment too. An old friend once said to me " take the action, let go of the result, and don't look back." It was good advice that has served me well.
The only thing I can really control is myself, so why worry? Worrying just makes me feel frightened angry and powerless so why do it--that's my life lesson and I pass it on for whatever it is worth.
Things That Help
While I'd like to say that I glide through life, serenely living in the present moment at all times, I have to admit that it is just not true. i worry, fret, and get stressed out over family, money, health, work, neighbors and all manner of things just like most people. Here are a few specific tricks I've developed over the years to handle worry and I pass them on in the hope that they will prove helpful.
- Distract yourself. It sounds too simple but it really works. When you are fretting over a major life problem or crisis, make yourself think about something else by doing something. Even a small, rote task like re-arranging your desk,washing your car, or scrubbing pots and pans will do it if you can really focus on the task. Throw yourself into it and you will not be thinking about anything else.
- Talk to Someone You Trust It is said that a problem shared is a problem halved. I have found that to be true and if you try it you find it is so.
- Get Enough Exercise and Sleep This is tough, especially when you are filled with anxiety. When I'm stressed out,I make sure I walk a couple of miles a day--tires me out and improves my mood. I try to wind down at night--no going online or doing work before bed--just a hot bath and a cup of herb tea and then lights out.
HappinessTips from Hubpages
- Reading Your Story
The profound power of your personal story - How to Effect Positive Life Change
Step by step you can change your life - Surrendering and Accepting Change
How acceptance of change makes life richer
Don't Worry,Be Happy!
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good point Paul-- I know worry can be a powerful fuel for action--but in my experience the successful worriers are more like problem solving with their worry and don't get super mired in self doubt or self recrimination which is what I wasted a lot of time doing....not to mention examining the road not taken in life and assuming it would have been much better than the path one followed-- what I like to call the "if I hadn't married your father I could have been a ballerina" syndrome:-)
paul, I'm the worst of both worldz - unsuccessful and a chronic worrier.
good hub, robie. :) sometimes I get led to action, sometimes I just sulk and it's useless. I know which one is the most useful, but it's a tough one to pull off sometimes.
I've always said the 'what-if' game is never-ending so it's best to avoid it. Worrying weakens us, and leaves us even less able to deal with any crisis that may occur. It's best to look ahead positively, just forgive yourself and try not to repeat mistakes.
or make Drano haiku :hmm:
Drano Haiku is never a mistake.
I prefer my drano on the rocks with a twist--but then I'm old fashioned LOL
hehe. I think I shall have to go with the Drano Margarita. We actually do have a little place semi-local that serves kamikazes made with blue caraca or however you spell that. they are blue and delicious and I admit I think of Drano. :p
A very personal Hub, I love that.
I know that when we make conscience decisions, for our good, that we are in the hands of God; and He will, regardless of the consequences of that choice, because we made it with goodness; He will ensure that - it has been good for our personal growth.
Interesting, that although I would never want to repeat the consequences for a few of my even 'good' (or so I thought) choices in my life... I 'still' would not go back and change a thing; because of what I have learned and how that new understanding has enriched my ability to live more 'alive'.
He, is a Master Teacher, but we need to recognize that He Is there for us...
tDMg
LdsNana-AskMormon
robie2
My husband and I are completely the opposite, he is "Mr. Worry", and I am "Don't Worry Be Happy" somehow we seem to balance each other out. I think a good balance of, worry to "the fuel of action" and, no-worry because you are "in the hands of God", is really the secret to success. I think it is a matter of balance for everyone. Thank you for you post.
I just logged on this evening and am sooooo pleased to see even more comments Wow--it feels very nice:-) This hub was an answer to the request "what is your greatest life lesson". I wrote it as a "trial balloon "the day I joined hubpages. It was a sort of practice hub to figure out how the site worked and I never expected so many comments. Thanks Nana for getting this thread out of the "drano";-) and putting it on a more spiritual level. And Doghouse--thanks for reminding me of the importance of balance and moderation.
oops--just hit the button again by mistake--sorry
Now if I could only learn NOT to worry that I am NOT worrying!
Then I could be happy! ;)
always something eh?
Yes, it is true that worrying is useless as it doesn't help us solve our problem, whatever it is. I focus on what I need to do, focus on what makes me happy and forget to worry when I am so engrossed with something I love and enjoy doing!
Of course, meeting new friends, exchanging ideas make us grow and develop more. Keep up the good work!
you changed avs again, and just when I was getting used to you as a blonde. :p
I decided to be a cupid for valentine's day lol--thanks for noticing. Av change is a means of procrastinating while I write my next hub:-)
ah, a holiday avatar extravaganza. nice touch~
nothing wrong with procrastination, friend. I've often found that by procrastinating enough, often nothing needs to be done at all, or as someone else put it "never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether". :D
Happy birthday, Robie~
once upon a time they say
a woman's soul was on it's way
to be a light, to glow and shine
and then one day to criss-cross mine.
I am glad you crossed my path, robie. You are a delight to the heart, a lovely woman all the way around and a talented writer. Happy birthday.
Also, Happy V-Day. :D
What a lovely birthday message-- thank you soooooooooo much. I'm really touched that you remembered. There is a kindness and a sense of joy about you that is just so special...not to mention you are the best un-poetess I know:-) I'm glad our paths have crossed too.
I hope that you are having a romantic and wonderful Valentine's Day with someone very special--ain't life grand?
lol, my fellow doesn't do predictability or being around on a time line which is why so much of my poetry is about waiting, patience and hope. him, I haven't talked to today (yet).
nonetheless, I'm having a lovely evening and I did think of you on your birthday and hoped you had a really lovely one. :)
my son came over and cleaned my house for V-day when I took a nap and wrote me a hand-made card, simply because I've been sick lately. all the other kids checked in too. my day was lovely.
Well, I had a great day too--got taken out to lunch, my son and daughter-in-law sent me flowers, and a good friend brought me a beautiful birthday cake. The phone has been ringing all day and cards and emails - warms my cockles dontchaknow:-) I feel very blessed.
yay you! I was rather hoping your absence today assumed good tidings. I want in on the cake though. Please tell me it's chocolate. :drool:
ooooooh yes--chocolate from a very fancy French bakery--butter creme chocolate frosting, creme anglaise between the layers--total chocolate yum yum---much better than Little Friskies:-) munch munch < sending you a virtual slice of birthday cake>
ok, now THAT just put the icing (so to speak) on my V Day cake. Just hearing about it rocked. I shall be after loving chocolate cake with you. :heart:
munch munch, yum yum<see us munching together>:-)
Good advice there Robie. Worry does nothing but wear our energy levels down, and worry is driven by fear of what the future holds for us. It is imaginary fear! And it is just as easy not to worry as it easy to, if we can only train our minds to trust that 'all is well'.
it's that trusting that all is well part that gets tricky--but training your mind is like training your muscles--it takes practice and when I can do it, it works. Thanks for reading and commenting rarestone
I used to worry a lot too. I panic the most when I felt I have let my parents down in some thing or the other. So I constantly worry. I tell you it is NOT healthy. So I am proud to announce I am more relaxed now and am able to go with the "flow" of life. Yes, if there is one life lesson we need to learn fast...it's Don't Worry. And if you still worry, well, don't worry, there will come a day, you will be fed up with worrying. LOL Great hub robie. :)
You are right. Worrying doesn't help. I used to be an inveterate worrier and this only made me a high strung individual. Slowly I learned to let go and just trust the future.
A friend of mine who helped HIV-AIDS cases in Kenya die a happy death told me that when I die I couldn't even bring a piece of toothpick with me. Indeed, why should I keep worrying about many things?
Thanks for your hub. It affirms my own lessons.
franciaonline
Thank you so much Franciaonline for reading and commenting. Yes, there is something about remembering that we can't take it with us that puts everything in perspective--yes? Life is precious. Thanks for the reminder.
Hello robie2 - Your intro to this hub grabbed me (and the huge smiley put a smile on my face!), you are so right that the things we tend to worry about hardly ever put us in a rut, and instead is the unexpected that throws us for a loop. That alone is a perfect reason not to worry too much. I usually don't, it's in my buffoon nature to smile and let go :)
Love your comment, Buffoon. Thanks for stopping by :-)
I try and reflect on the fact that all the things I got so stressed out about over the years I got through and now really don't matter - like you said the big things always come out of nowhere and does it really matter if I forget to unload the dishwasher?
Exactly CM--exactly-- and if only I could always take my own advice:-) thanks for stopping by and commenting
Your words added to my sense of peace and serenity. Thank you. True wisdom is ageless.
Get enough rest and sleep - Oh I agree! This can be the most difficult thing to do sometimes, but this is also the best thing to do to achieve a better disposition/mood. Great hub!
thanks for stopping by explorer and yes-- the whole world looks better after a good night's sleep
Hi,i think worrying iz an inborn characteriztic. my z key iz gone zo i am in trouble.
ah, exotic hippie, I think there are some who would agree with you, but smiling still helps :-) Good luck with the z key and thanks for stopping by
I am blown away by the number of followers you have for only having written 59 hubs. Obviously you have a voice that speaks to a great many people. Excellent hub and it is so nice to see we share a philosophy of life that has served me well these past five years.
Hi Billybuc and I love that you landed on this Hub. It is the first one I ever wrote four years ago when I wandered into Hubpages quite by chance. Chance??? well, whatever.
I didn't know what I was doing at the time and was just trying to learn how to manipulate the capsules. Yes we do share a philosophy of life and I suspect we share it for the same reason and that we both have learned the hard way how to live one day at a time. Perhaps that is why I enjoy your writing and what you have to say so much. Thanks for stopping by and I am really pleased to know you.
Paul Edmondson Level 4 Commenter 4 years ago
I agree that worrying is a waste of energy. However, some of the most successful people I know are chronic worriers. Some find a way for worrying to work for them I guess.